My personal growth

To journal is a great way to get shit out that you're holding in, not only that, it's a great way for you to go back and look at yourself; maybe you'll see something within yourself you could possibly change for the better.
But who wants to look at their selves eh?
I know I don't, but I do.  I do it because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to grow as a person.
This journey I started almost four years ago, recovery, has been the most challenging.  I've seen within myself some not so pretty things, including a shitty attitude.  It wasn't until I changed my attitude, I was able to look at myself and try to change the changeable.  Change though, ugh, not freakin' easy.  I'm one of those people who was scared of change, now though, I embrace it.  I do not fear change, change is good when it's healthy.

My attitude held me back a great deal in my life.  I felt because I had the shit end of the stick all my life, I deserved more than I had gotten.  Today, I know this is not true.  I will only get what I give.  If I give nothing in my recovery, I will get nothing.

Honesty has a great deal with me changing my attitude today.  I've had to learn to be honest with myself.  I know when I first started this journey, I thought I was always honest with myself, but no.  I was never honest with myself.  I think I've even created lies in the past that I even believed.  Now that's good! 
Today, when I wake up, I know attitude is a choice.  So, everyday I try to wake up and be in a good mood.  I mean, there's no reason to be in a bad mood, I had a great sleep. 
I try to be accountable and in control of my emotions, not blaming anyone for how I feel.   It's hard, but unlearning learned behavior is not impossible.

I'm teachable, and that is the one thing I found in my recovery I'm so grateful for.  Because without that open-mindedness, I don't think I'd look at recovery the way it's meant to be looked at. 

How do you change?  That's exactly it, H.O.W. Honesty, Open-mindedness, & Willingness.
 You have to be honest, not only with yourself, but the people around you.  You have to be open-minded, teachable, and most important, you have to have the willingness to want to be honest and open-minded.

If I wasn't any of these things, I know for a fact, I'd still be where I was four years ago.